I’m dying!

This is terrible! That boy should be ashamed of himself for beating up those two girls! This is proof that the Harry Potter obsession has gone to far.


I’m dying!

This is terrible! That boy should be ashamed of himself for beating up those two girls! This is proof that the Harry Potter obsession has gone to far.

The Fairy Mage: Chapter 1

Kaylen was sitting by the tree. It had been nearly three days since his arrival in Childhome, a magical land for poor, abused children. Many people had met him, asking him questions about the world he had lived in, and the conditions of the children who lived in his city.

He answered as many questions as he could, and yet, he couldn’t help but stare at the green tree that stood in the middle of Childhome. The tree was calling to him in a voice that sounded like a cry for help. He remembered what Imani had said to him regarding the tree: “Queen Pradine of Sarnwey was the last queen of that land, for her husband had imprisoned her in that tree and there is a spell that is holding her in there forever.”

He stood up and walked around; Childhome was a magical land filled with laughing children, singing Elves and fairies, and fresh air and green grass. There seemed to be a ring of deadly thorn bushes and hedges that surrounded the idyllic place. Trees were everywhere, mainly willows. Lakes were scattered around the area, and there were several mountain ranges to the left.

Kaylen thought to himself should I have given up my entire life? The obvious answer was yes. For many years, he had been the weird kid, the kid no one wanted to talk to, the kid who ruined everything for everyone. He had been called “freak”, “weirdo”, “nutcase”, “crazy”, “moody”, “moron”, and just about every other name in the book. He had no friends and he couldn’t even relate to his family at all.

Also, in his old life, Kaylen had spent most of it dodging magical villains, or being in interdimensional worlds with giants, fairies, and elves. In fact, the only reasons why he was in Childhome in the first place were because of a chance meeting with his true father, meeting up with Imani, and an encounter with his true mother Penelore, the fairy princess, from whom he learned her sad life story and the role his father played in it.

He soon forgot the story and returned to his boring, dull, and pathetic life until a few days earlier, when his father had taken him to the former magical land of Sarnwey and charged him with a task: restoring the land back to its magical roots. But how could he restore a land of that magnitude if he was so against magic to begin with?

He stared at his reflection in a lake; gone were the hideous glasses that he had once worn on his face. His reddish brown hair was uncombed and scattered around his head. His blue eyes, once dull, were now as bright as the noonday sky. His clothes (which was a t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans) were falling to pieces, as were his tennis shoes.

“Hmmm…guess I never thought to bring extra clothes when I left,” Kaylen thought to himself. Then he knew that there was no going back for him now. Not when he had just willingly given up his life for a young girl’s visions and the hopes of millions of people everywhere.

“Do you still doubt yourself?” Imani said to him. “If so, then why? You know what your destiny is.”

Kaylen said, “But why am I expected to do everything for others?”

“You cannot live your life just to please everyone,” said Alexis. “Even if you managed to save a few people, there will be many more that you have failed to save.” He sighed and said, “I was just told that we were not allowed to have any disabled children in Childhome.”

“Why not?” Kaylen asked.

“There are those who don’t like them here in Childhome, and they would do anything to destroy them,” said Alexis.

“Why would they destroy disabled people?” cried Kaylen. “They’re just people.  And besides, they don’t have the capacity to do anything wrong.”

“Well, some did,” Jasper said as he approached them. “In fact, a woman named Andrea Muty dared to thumb her nose at polite society and tell disabled people to…”

“Ok, that’s enough!” Imani cried out. She had heard Jasper’s story about how Andrea and several others had allegedly planned to overthrow the city of New York and rule over the residents by tailoring to the desires of many disabled people everywhere.

That was, until her death.

However, that’s not part of this story.

Kaylen said, “There’s got to be someone out there who isn’t evil and is willing to help us.”

“Well,” said Imani, “there should be. But for some reason, this land has no magic in it and fairies and other magical beings are dying because they are not allowed to do magic at all.”

“The previous emperors have destroyed the magical world, so that’s also the reason,” said Alexis.

“So I think that we should go and see if we can restore the magic in the world,” said Kaylen. “There should be no reason that magic cannot be restored. Besides, if we succeed in doing so, then the fairies will return and land will be restored to its original glory.”

Imani smiled and said, “See? I knew that it was a great idea to bring him here. I was beginning to think that you were all a bunch of idiots who don’t know what they were doing.”

Aaron laughed, saying, “We’re not idiots!”

“No,” said Alexis. “But you are!”

Kaylen said, “Well, what about if we rescue just one disabled person? It can’t be too bad, now can it?”

"Well, no. It can’t be too bad. Even one person can change the future of the entire world," said Alexis.

Kaylen thought what if we could slip away from here and find just one person to save? That person would have to have the power to see the fairies and bring them here. That person would be able to help the fairies restore the land to its true roots.

Imani caught his gaze and said, “What are you thinking about, Kaylen?”

"Someone might have the power to help the fairies," said Kaylen. "And if they can, we must find them and bring them here."

"I don’t now," said Imani. "We don’t have too many adults who can help fairies."

"Well,  it’s the children who can help, right?" Aaron quipped.

"Well, I don’t know," said Alexis. "These days, children are more interested in their video games than in fairy tales."

"But there are some who are not," Aaron said. "Now let’s go find him!"

Alexis frowned and said, “Aaron, we’re not just going to jump into action because of what he says.”

"Well, if we don’t," Imani cut in, "then bad things will happen." Kaylen nodded.

Alexis frowned and said, “Fine, we’ll go. You have three days to pack.” He left and said to Kaylen, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Kaylen nodded and looked around him. What was he getting himself into?

The Fairy Mage: Prologue

14-year-old Micah Dratzins was a strange boy who had never lived a good life. He spends his days in high school being the butt of many children’s cruel jokes and being insulted by students and teachers alike. Even his parents, Franco and Kelly Dratzins, and brothers Marco and Vlad make his life miserable. That was, until one day, Micah’s life changes with a chance meeting with his birth father and a young girl. He learns that his true name is Kaylen Klieg and his destiny is to save the former magical world of Sarnwey.

Sarnwey had once been a magical place until the Emperor Hijad invaded the realm, tricked the widowed Queen Penelore into marrying him, and banished magic in that land. As a result, the fairies and elves who once lived in that land were exiled and humans began living there, filling Outworld with their human filth. The country of Edenia was founded and after a rebellion, the Emperor was overthrown, and his stepson Miwe Talliskov took over the throne and brought about a prolonged era of peace.

Miwe’s deccendants ruled Edenia for thousands of years, even when the country had been dragged into TWO world wars and countless other world events. Pern Yabut and Artemisis Gatzer and their descendants have also done well for themselves. On the other hand, the families of Nylo Khalup and Heanae Kasil did not succeed, due to the other families’ dislike for them and the human population’s fear of them. The Khalup family was destroyed by generations of inbreeding until only Alexis Luvannokitch was left; he was born in 1985. The Kasil family declined due to very few members of that family marrying, and the last of the Kasil descendants died in the 1960’s.

The family of Prince Charleb Trajez is unknown, since in “The Mythical History of Edenia”, we only see him when he is 8 years old, the same age that Tabez Berea was when she disappeared. Also, Charleb Trajez was the youngest child of King Hijad and Princess Penelore. He was born shortly before Outworld fell and Miwe assumed the throne of Sarnwey. Charleb was taken from his parents after the fall of Outworld and he hasn’t been seen since.

When Hijad was overthrown by the uncle of Igriatios Talliskov (son of Miwe) during the rebellion, he and Penelore were locked in a dark tower of the Anglavona Castle, which is located in the village of Lerfrey, Edenia.  Both had been imprisoned for many years and will soon be tried for their crimes against Edenia. Penelore’s past is also taken into consideration. Kaylen must deal with his mother’s past when two figures show up, and he must also prove himself as the son of the fairy Queen at that.

About Kaylen’s birth: he had been born a year before the rebellion that ended the realm of Outworld began. Penelore discovered that her son was a human and she knew whose son he was. She begged the midwife Conidia and her assistant Paulo to send him away, reporting that he had been stillborn in order to cover up her adulterous affair and her bastard son. In his anger, Hijad captured Conidia and Paulo, accused them of murder, and had them executed. Kaylen was taken to modern-day Briboda, renamed Micah, and given to the Dratzins family as a replacement for a son who was sent to a mental institution. As we all know, Kaylen lived a sad life of being called “oddball” and being neglected and yelled at constantly. Things are no better when a young boy named Vlad moves in with the Dratzins. Vlad is also a strange boy and very disconnected from the outside world at that.

But when Kaylen was 10 years old, magical things began happening to him. He found himself being carried off by trolls, giants, and fairies constantly and he ended up in various magical realms. He even had encounters with wizards and witches at that. When he was about 13 years old, Kaylen had an unusual encounter with his birth mother Penelore, who told him her sad story, from being an orphaned girl growing up with her grandmother to marrying a fairy king and becoming a queen. But her story took a sad turn with an unhappy second marriage, which was wrought with sorrow, and it led to Penelore committing adultery twice, and Kaylen being conceived and having to be sent away to grow up away from his mother in a different world.

Kaylen had heard the story, but didn’t think on it too much until the next year, when he met his father and learned of his destiny, a destiny he wanted to defy. When Kaylen met with a young girl named Imani (who lived in a magical world for children), he was immediately taken to Childhome under an assumption that he would become a great hero.

That is where we find him…

The Story BEFORE the Fairy Mage

Before Kaylen Klieg was born, his mother, Tabez Berea, was kidnapped by a fairy named Pradine and taken to a magical land called Sarnwey. She stays there for many years, ends up being tricked by the fairy king Dalsi into marrying him, and eventually losing her husband in a battle against a claimant.

The Imp Hijad, emerging from the battle, marries Tabez (she had taken the name Penelore upon her first marriage) and they raise a large family. But an illicit affair with a young dragon prince yields a half-dragon, half-human boy named Kaylen, and Tabez has him sent away to hide the affair.

In modern day times in a city on Earth, Tabez/Penelore arrives to find her son and tell him of his true destiny: to become a powerful sorcerer and avert a terrible war that could destroy the entire universe!

The Interview of the Dickens Family for what could have been the murder trial of Adam Wilkins’ murderer

And now for the interview that my parents had to go through for the “so-calledmurder trial of Adam Wilkins, who was (as of yet) unknown:

Interrogator: So you are Rodger Dickens of Nander Castle?

RD: Yes, I am.

Interrogator: How long have you known Adam Wilkins?

ED: About 9 years now.

Interrogator: I understand that you became some sort of second family to Adam. Is that true?

RD: That would be correct

Interrogator: It has been said that you and your wife once tired to file adoption papers?

RD: We did put in a bid to adopt Adam in 2000, but Mayor Norwood himself rejected that bid.

Interrogator: Why was your bid to adopt Adam denied?

ED: Mayor Wallace claimed that because we were supporting four relatives as well as raising our two children, he felt that we didn’t need to be burdened with a third child. He also said that the Fuller family was better off raising Adam than we were.

Interrogator: What was Adam’s role in your family?

ED: We have taken to watching Adam whenever the Fuller family went on vacations. They also made us watch Adam on the weekends, various holidays, and summer vacations.

RD: For some reason, John and Mary Fuller decided not to include Adam in their family activities.

Interrogator: I see.

RD: That’s not all. I also discovered that John and Mary Fuller were exploiting Adam by paying Amelia grant to cast him as Harry Potter in her movies.

ED: We tried to put an end to it.

RD: Without much success, however.

Interrogator: So, for all your interference in the life of Adam Wilkins, did anyone ever inform you that it was illegal to keep a fosterling in your house?

RD: No one ever told us that; if we had known about it, I would have reported it to the police when the Fullers first left Adam at our house.

Interrogator: I see. Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Dickens. That will be all.

Ok, that went well.

Little did I know that my parents’ testimony would mean trouble for the Fullers…

The Movie Characters Voice Their Opinions about the Harry Potter Books

Here, we have Jacquel Spartan, Karema Smittand, and Derrick Virgil  discussing Harry Potter ad their reactions to the books.

WARNING: anti-Harry Potter reviews ahead!!!

Jacquel Spartan: When I first heard of Harry Potter, I didn’t know what to say. As I was a college student studying the literary classics, I looked at the books with a very critical eye. I found out that it wasn’t worth the hype; not with the theme of child abuse, wizardry, witchcraft, and crap that is so prevalent in fiction nowadays. When I got past the first chapter of the story, I saw that it was so boring and bland that it wasn’t even worth continuing. When the movies started coming out, I just couldn’t stomach the hype surrounding it. Even my children got tired of Harry after I tried (and failed) to read them “Chamber of Secrets.” what about the characters? Please! Harry comes off as a nerdy little boy who lives with abusive relatives and is bullied every single day. Now, if that were me, I’d be running away and trying to get help for myself. I’d go find a new family and new friends. The friends he has sucks. As for Ron, I mean, his whole life is worse than Harry’s; and he’s not even an orphan. His mother yells at him, dresses him in maroon, and belittles him at every opportunity. His father, however, locks himself in a shed and studies muggles (non-magical people) like their science projects. Hermione is a girl who buries herself in books and not the type of person I can call a friend at all. I apologize to all the fans of Hermione who will hate me for saying this, but she’s just not the girl I can call a friend, let alone a role model for my daughters. What about Ginny, Ron’s sister? Please don’t get me started! She’s a freaking Mary-Sue. A stalker. A fangirl. She was programmed to do one thing, and that is to marry Harry Potter. Now I don’t see her as a character at all, just an entity of the author herself. I would surely ground Treasure, Fern, or Fawn if they started to act like that little brat. Would you believe that that woman had the nerve to put them together? I say that’s a bad idea, considering the fact that Harry Potter is the hero and Ginny is the “Love Interest” who knocked aside all the other girls Harry could have married just to have him. That’s not love. Hermione and Ron being happily married? I smell DIVORCE for them in the future. That’s my opinion of Harry Potter; it wasn’t the book of the century, let alone the new millennium. It’s just a piece of garbage that never should have been written in the first place.

OK, that’s quite enough from Jacquel the non-religious skeptic. Now we shall hear from Karema, the almost-pagan pacifist…

Karema Smittand: As an almost-pagan, the Harry Potter series deeply offended me. There was no magic in the books at all, just a bunch of teenagers dressed in dark robes waving flimsy wooden sticks and shouting some mumbo-jumbo crap. Any idiot can dress up in a robe, wave flimsy wooden sticks, and shout some mumbo-jumbo crap, but it takes a special person to actually create magic. In short, the Harry Potter series ruined the entire fantasy genre for me. Don’t even get me started on the movies; I saw the first two movies with Jacquel and we both agreed that it was all crap. I can’t stand the hype over that crap. I’m pissed at adults, who don’t even consider reading the classics, who would think that Harry Potter was the best story ever written. Grow up, people! It’s a stupid story; there are other books out there for you to read, and you insist on reading this piece of crap book. If there is a God out there, may he have mercy on all your souls because you are stupid if you think this was the greatest thing in this millennium. Excuse me while I go do some real Wiccan chants to make the Harry Potter hype go away for good.

Now that we have heard from a pagan who thought the series was crap, we go to a Christian for his take on the saga. Don’t worry, folks, Derrick isn’t one of those religious nuts who think Harry Potter comes from the Devil and all that shebang.

Derrick Virgil: I was about 15 years old when I was given Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone to read; I had just lost my parents and was the sole supporter of my sister Connie. So I turned to a storybook character that shared the same problem as I did. However, being a Christian had its challenges, like when a person in my church said that Harry Potter was full of witchcraft, and I had a fun time challenging him about that. What I have discovered that the book didn’t have one ounce of witchcraft in it (and boy did that guy’s face cracked when I told him that!) but thanks to Karema and later Jacquel, I discovered that the books just weren’t as great as I had originally thought. Not since Jacquel introduced me to The Lord of the Rings and gave me the meaning of the word “wizard,” which Gandalf was and Dumbledore was not. I also discovered that the book format kept repeating its self, from harry escaping from his uncle’s house and going off to Hogwarts and having to fight Lord Voldemort and then back to his abusive relatives, where the cycle begins all over again. I was a bit guilty of buying into the hype (glares from Jacquel and Karema) OK, so I did buy into the hype for a long time, until the girls convinced me that Harry Potter was a piece of crap (THERE, I SAID IT! HAPPY NOW?) and that I need to put it down and read an adult novel. (BTW, it took me forever to convince Connie to set Harry Potter aside and read Percy Jackson; she was as much of a fan as I was.) So as for the magic part of the story? There was none. The characters seemed to be flat and boring. The finale didn’t do much to impress me. I guess I wasted a lot of time being a Harry Potter fan and I want to help others who have lost parents to not turn to a sad pile of books that can’t even help you escape to a world of fantasy.

Now that you have heard the honest opinions of the Movie Characters on the Harry Potter books, we can honestly say that they never did like the books at all (save for Derrick, but that’s for later). But not to worry, they’ll be back later on in the story.